Thursday, February 26, 2009

Book Of Rick, book II (classic AOTN.Blogspot post)

1And the Lord found His way unto the paradise of Vegas, where those as degenerate as he could be found.
2It came to pass that He found a friend upon whom He could so mooch and He did uphold His group that He hath nourished for two years.
3But little is told of those earlier days that the Lord spent in Vegas, but this was most important in His quest for followers and noteriety.
4So that by the time that He was prepared to move on, He was known as AngelOfThyNight and He did go to the wilderness of Orlando.
5There He went through many trials and tribulations. Here, He settled in the lands in search of ghosts and the skunk ape.
6His followers gathered unto Him and He did make use of the divine Yahoo Groups. He sought many women of Wicca, preferably Asian, who would give themselves unto him.
7And Paranormal and Ghost Society grew and there many meetups and barbeque wings, and there was much toking, and the Lord was glad.
8It seemed He was no longer butthurt as He led His followers through the wilderness,
9Until deep within the swamp that was Okeechobee, He did find a shack that was open twenty four hours.
10The Lord sayeth unto his people, "I shall enter this shack and whilst I am here, thou shalt seek ghosts and thou shalt not deprive Me of the credit."
11So sayeth the Lord, "Thou shalt not view images of the Ghost Hunters and nor shall thee view the Sci-fi Channel for TAPS is an abomination unto Me."
12And entering the shack, He did find a wise man and the wise man didst say, "Come and toke with me and we shall discuss many things."
13And the Lord didst toke with the wise man and as it happened, the wise man was an expert of the paranormal. He didst give the Lord the laws of ghost hunting.
14"How shall my people know thy word?" asketh the Lord.
15The wise man didst say, "I haveth these stone tablets of which are no use to me. I shall engrave the law into them and your people shall know my laws."
16And the wise man did procure a crayon for his scripture and so composed his laws.
17During this time, his people grew restless with wait and one person didst have a portable screen.
18They did talk amongst themselves and all knew that the Ghost Hunters were coming on for it was Wednesday, and the scriptures told that TAPS was on Wednesday nights at 8/7 central.
19And when the Lord emerged from the shack, He saw His people gathered around the screen and He did see the image of Jason Hawes thereupon and His wrath was great.
20He shouted, "What is this? Do My people dare sate themselves with such graven images?"
21The people looked upon Him stunned. His hair had turned pink, perhaps in the gaining of wisdom, and He had two great stone tablets.
22In fury, He hurled the stone tablets upon the ground and He did take the screen and dashed it into ground. He took the peices and threw them into the swamp.
23Sayeth the Lord, "Drink from the swamp!"
24His followers stood, still stunned when one brave soul stood and didst say, "Dude, Thou must payeth for that."
25The Lord pointed and didst say, "Thou art banished! Findeth thine own ride!"
26The other people not willing to findeth their own rides, stayed with the Lord and listened.
27The Lord picked up the tablets and wiped the mud from them and He did say unto His people, "These are those Commandments given to Me by the wise one within.
28"They are the core of the law and once thou knowest them, I shall tell thee the whole law."
29"The First Commandment: Thou shalt have no other Lord before Me. I shall provide thee with ghostly photos and no other.
30"The Second Commandment: Thou shalt not view other ghost hunters that do not pay hommage to Me. They are an abomination to Me.
31"The Third Commandment: Thou shalt post to My groups. This is an active board.
32"The Fourth Commandment: Thou shalt donate to Me. My pot habit will not support itself.
33"The Fifth Commandment: Thou shalt come to My meetups. Some of thee may be cute women.
34"The Sixth Commandment: Thou shalt not be law enforcement officers or members of the NWO. I shall surely sue thee.
35"The Seventh Commandment: Thou shalt join Me on investigations. Otherwise thou must be cowards afraid of leaving thy monitors.
36"The Eighth Commandment: Thou shalt not make fun of Me. I will surely smite thee with the local sheriff.
37"The Ninth Commandment: Thou shalt toke with Me. Thou must learn to relax and layeth back.
38"The Tenth and Final Commandment: Thou shalt not challenge thy Lord's knowledge and wisdom. Agree with me at all times!"
39The Lord did lower His tablets and his followers said that they hadst not a problem with most of those commandments.
40Everyone toked up and there was merriment made.
41Then when all had left the wilderness, the Lord saw that all activity ended. He could no longer get people to show up at his meetups and he was butthurt.

1 comment:

  1. Rick wont help you no more fuckers your on your own I lost my show cause of these ass clowns these jack asses offered me 2000 to say that shit about Synthia and when it came time to pay up they made off like they did not know who the fuck I am there nuts. Everybody wants to take take take and profit off of me. No more free rides

    Pauly boy wrote me months ago saying I have information about this woman. He says do you want it? It would make a hell of a show. I thought fuck you know I could really boost my ratings so I put this show together and do my own research and somebody else tells me Synthia’s real name is Patrice Richards living in Colorado.

    Pauly boy offers me 2000 to make up all this shit about his old lady on my show I got 3 sons to take care of so what the hell right plus toke that’s a lot of weed toke I do the show and no money then this ass clown tries to blackmail my wife for information about me and he contacts my wife’s father talking about me being a druggie let me explain nicely to you my ex reported me for drugs to the state so I had recently a hair and piss test done by quest the lady called from the state said my urine and hair is CLEAN its on record so bastards you want to play come on down BITCH! Play with fire be prepared to get burned.

    Drug test do not lie especially knowing quest is a national reputable drug testing medical facility. Folks I hope you are starting to see the losers these people are. Anyways point being he is a firefighter for the town which starts off in most counties at 35,000 a year and that bastard acts like a 2000 is going to break him. Pauly boy and his fat gf send me these files for my show you know I got a recording studio with all the bells and whistles they wanted me to doctor up these recordings alter voices etc to make it sound like this boy hates his mother and wants me to make it sound like his mom is planning to kidnap this child. I said is this legal and he said yeah man I got a order in court to do it. Sorry to make a spectacle no Im not you assumed I would keep quiet assumption is the fuck up of all mother fuckers. Im not going down in the ship with you here is the thing I will be around 10 years from now…15 years from now:) while you will still be sitting on your lard asses picking them looking at my hot photos showing off my tattoos and nice biceps no ego just fact:)
    .
    My fucking show gets canceled after they bitch and moan to the producers I can slap you guys with a lawsuit how would you like that.? Ha ha I will come down there and show Heidi what a real man looks like not some pretend lard ass fire fighter who stands around playing with his hose all day. Hahaha I do not demean anyone without a cause. Sure I party I work hard and I have every right to. What I do is my own business say what you want about me at least I do not pretend to be someone I’m not. Pauly boy comes to me pretending to be a reporter here he is taking low digs mocking out the paranormal. I have done over 800 investigations, over 60,000 photos I run the biggest paranormal group in the country I have been in books on television I am a talk show host man the list goes on. Anyone who does not show respect for this is an ingrate. That doesn’t just happen that takes work you should try it sometime .Don’t believe me? I will raise my hands and fill the room with demons and spirits and I will show you real power. I will put these demons upon you to do my bidding your worst nightmare will come true I come face to face with UfO’S, bigfoot, demons, ghosts, cryptids and other shit that would eat you for godddamned lunch. Maybe the lord Rick knows what he’s talking about after all? Ha ha Unlike you I am very smart and you are nothing compared to me. If you do not think there will be pay back then you do not know the Lord you have made a powerful enemy.

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